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You see your significant other. That familiar feeling hits the pit of your stomach like taking that first plunge on a roller coaster ride. You are certain you are about to hear the dreaded break up speech, and a bad taste is soon to be left in someone's mouth. This feeling can go on forever.
You can still remember meeting that wonderful person just last year. You couldn't wait for the next dinner or the next dance. Everything she said was cute and he had such a wonderful sense of humor. You both had the same interests and it seemed as if the world was made out of gumballs and music. Somewhere along the line, however, evil had crept its way in. All the tulips that were brushed with moonlight had wilted. Romance had all fizzled out. It sounds like nails scraping down a chalkboard as he snaps the gum in his mouth. The way she crinkles her nose reminds you of Mrs. Piggy and sex is non-existent.
It’s believed that in every relationship, there’s at least one time where someone considers The Break Up. Most people focus on the details and ask questions as to why things turned for the worse, but it is not quite as common for somebody to consider what can be done to fix things. Sure, it's important to understand what happened. But don't waste your time dissecting it and putting it under a microscope. It's more important to just know the Fix.
There are three things people do to try to fix things that simply don't work:
1. The Method of Stubborn Pride
Why does it have to be me that changes? Why is it me that always has to workout the kinks of this relationship? This way of thinking will definitely make sure that nobody makes a change and one person plays the role of the victim. Then the couples are pitted against each other.
2. The ever powerful (not) method of the Mexican Stand Off
If he would go to counseling, then I'll go. If she quits, then I'll quit too. This will certainly ensure that both people are miserable if the relationship continues and no matter who breaks their stare, breaking up is certain.
3. The Bait and Switch Method
You'll change if you love me. In this method, all responsibility is taken off of the message sender and is projected onto the one who will end up thinking, "Why do I have to change if you say you love me?"?
The amazing thing is that the real solution and proven method is so simple and even sounds cliche'. You need to work on YOU. The relationship has pulled you in and you're lost. The relationship overshadowed you and you’re stagnant in the cesspool of denial and hatred. However, that can be changed!
First and most importantly, remember the YOU that existed before the relationship. That is the person that he/she began to fall in love with. The reason they fell in love was not because you kept things tidy or had a great memory for sentimental moments. They fell in love with you because you were great at being YOU.
The second step is to remove all negativity. Remember how your mother taught you to just forgive and forget, this is what is needed now. Believe me, once you have worked on you, things will be much easier. Arguing and saying hurtful things puts you right back in the circle of negativity. Before you try to save the remains of your relationship, ask yourself this: Do you say anything NEW? Just replaying the same thing over and over again gets you know where except where you were to start with and never fixes anything.
Last but not least, execute! But, before you make any changes, remember that you're doing this for YOU! Remember, You are what you are and can not be something you are not. If you are pretending or aren't doing it for yourself, things will not work out. The great thing is, you can start today.
You will see a huge change practically overnight within your love life and beyond. You can show your partner the person they fell in love with. And, you will only have to be you. Breaking up will no longer be the answer.
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